Those Bastards at Breyers

Breyer’s is no longer ice cream.

Breyer’s now manufactures “Frozen Dairy Dessert.”  According to their website,

Frozen Dairy Dessert products are made with many of the same high-quality ingredients that are commonly found in Ice Cream – like fresh milk, cream and sugar – and offer a great taste and even smoother texture. These products do not fall within the current FDA definition of standardized Ice Cream, so we call them Frozen Dairy Dessert.

The thing is, what Breyer’s does not acknowledge in this description is that a side-by-side comparison of the ingredients in like flavors from before and after the switch, their frozen dairy dessert is partially sweetened by corn syrup, whereas their ice cream was sweetened only with real sugar.

Again, from the Breyer’s website:

In a national side-by-side taste test, our fans tell us they like the new recipe just as much as the original. We’re confident these new products deliver the great taste Ice Cream fans expect but with any product change it’s always possible that you may notice a difference. Frozen Dairy Dessert tends to have less fat than ice cream.

Okay, so
1) the frozen dairy dessert has a somewhat slimy texture (even before I discovered the labeling switch, my immediate reaction to the box of Rocky Road I purchased was that there was something off with the contents) and
2) I don’t want less fat with my ice cream. If I wanted less fat, I wouldn’t be eating ice cream, now would I? Don’t go effing with my dessert formulae in the name of better health and then swap out real sugar for a processed alternative sweetener and then lie about it!

Again, official propaganda from Breyers:

Since 1866, Breyers products have consistently delivered high-quality ingredients, great flavors and smooth creaminess that our fans love, and we remain committed to that Pledge. Our Ice Cream and new Frozen Dairy Dessert varieties continue to use fresh milk, cream and sugar. What distinguishes our Frozen Dairy Dessert from our Ice Cream is that it’s blended in a whole new way to create a smoother texture.

My revision:

From 1866-August 2012, Breyers products had consistently delivered high-quality ingredients, great flavors, and smooth creaminess that our fans loved. In a short-sighted change prompted by allowing individuals lacking a love of high quality foods to make decisions crucial to the integrity of our product, Breyers has ceased to deliver upon our Pledge to quality. Our Frozen Dairy Dessert uses corn syrup as one of its primary sweeteners whereas our ice cream used only real sugar. We blatantly lie by omission about the ingredients in our frozen dairy dessert by not acknowledging the presence of the corn syrup in our marketing materials. What distinguishes our Frozen Dairy Dessert from our Ice Cream is a clear and noticeable drop in quality. We’re stupid pricks who should immediately renounce this change in formulation, fire everyone responsible for it, and issue a huge public apology in the same manner as Coca-Cola did following their New Coke debacle.

One Response to “Those Bastards at Breyers”

  1. jwsharrard Says:

    See my more recent post–the formulation switch added carageenan into the “Frozen Dairy Dessert”–along with a whole bunch of other gums and emulsifiers! The addition of these ingredients is most likely the culprit for the odd texture shift.

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