These Food Jokes Are Punny

Don’t blame me… blame my mother-in-law, who tells a bad joke really well. She’s been sending me these puns for months and I haven’t done anything with them yet. Until now…. So, without further ado, Diana’s food puns:

I couldn’t decide whether or not to make spiced apple cider, so I mulled it over.

I beat the eggs and I whip the cream, but the onion always makes me cry.

One ear of corn said to the other ‘You’re getting husky’.

When the orchard owner went to trial he was judged by a jury of his pears.

The pod vegetables I bought for the gumbo I was making were so-so. They were medi-okra.

A fight broke out in a kitchen. Egged on by the waiters, two cooks peppered each other with punches. One man, a greasy foie gras specialist, ducked the first blows, but his goose was cooked when the other cold-cocked him. The man who beat him, a weedy salad expert with big cauliflower ears, tried to flee the scene, but was cornered in the maize of tables by a husky off-duty cob. He was charged with a salt and battery. He claims to look forward to the suit, as he’s always wanted to be a sous-chef.

The compensation received by the Italian chef was a pretty penne.

What should you put into your garden to watch over your beets? A metro-gnome!

2 Responses to “These Food Jokes Are Punny”

  1. Kari Says:

    OMG. I almost got disinherited months ago for saying the fried okra were ok at the cracker barrel, you know, medi-okra. and then my family accused me of making that up ahead of time and just WAITING for the perfect occasion to use it!

    I think it’s obvious why we are such good friends, and why your wife is equipped to deal with me.

  2. AMDphreak Says:

    Hi I cited one of your jokes in an photograph of mine on deviantART. I needed to find a variation of the “a salt and battery” joke, and I came across yours. I linked back to your web page, but it’s hard to find on the page, so I quoted the original text. Please tell me if this infringes on your copyright, or if I can get permission from you. Thanks. The link to my photograph:

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