Don’t blame me… blame my mother-in-law, who tells a bad joke really well. She’s been sending me these puns for months and I haven’t done anything with them yet. Until now…. So, without further ado, Diana’s food puns:
I couldn’t decide whether or not to make spiced apple cider, so I mulled it over.
I beat the eggs and I whip the cream, but the onion always makes me cry.
One ear of corn said to the other ‘You’re getting husky’.
When the orchard owner went to trial he was judged by a jury of his pears.
The pod vegetables I bought for the gumbo I was making were so-so. They were medi-okra.
A fight broke out in a kitchen. Egged on by the waiters, two cooks peppered each other with punches. One man, a greasy foie gras specialist, ducked the first blows, but his goose was cooked when the other cold-cocked him. The man who beat him, a weedy salad expert with big cauliflower ears, tried to flee the scene, but was cornered in the maize of tables by a husky off-duty cob. He was charged with a salt and battery. He claims to look forward to the suit, as he’s always wanted to be a sous-chef.
The compensation received by the Italian chef was a pretty penne.
What should you put into your garden to watch over your beets? A metro-gnome!