Corduroy Orange

A darned tasty sandwich makes everything okay

Most of the time, at work, the only way I’m able to get all of my prep work ready in time to cook everything that I need by the time customers start arriving is that I’ve got some prep left over to start with: basic ingredients that keep for a few days that carry over from one shift to the next. It’s a big help, because otherwise, there’s just too much to be done for one person to handle. I showed up at work this morning and there was practically nothing for me to start with: few enough roasted tomatoes and olives that I could count them individually; no spinach cooked, and none picked from the stem; no meats or cheeses for sandwiches; barely any onions; hardly any salmon portioned, ditto on the steaks; … and to top it all off, the inserts that fit into our refrigerated drawers were left so filthy, I had to pull them all out and wash them by hand before I could put any food in them. I have never entered a day so utterly underprepped. I’m the main guy on a two-man lunch line, and I didn’t expect anyone who could help me to get there before 10:45 — at the earliest (45 minutes before we open). It was so terrible that I very briefly considered throwing my hands up in the air and walking out the door.

Instead, I called the chef and the sous chef on their cell phones and told both that I was left in such piss poor shape that the only way the restaurant would be ready to open was if they got in there and helped me because I had so much to do it wasn’t even within the realm of possibility that I’d be able to get it all done by myself. Fortunately, both tend to be reasonable fellows and both came in a fair bit earlier than they otherwise would have and got me to where I needed to be. When people started lining up at 11:00 waiting for a table and the first four tables all ordered exclusively from me, I was glad I hit the panic button when I did.

Once we got that initial rush taken care of, I found the silver lining to my day in the form of a sandwich the likes of which I have not had in quite some time: chicken and bacon on toasted bread with applesauce. For some reason, it had never previously occurred to me that applesauce could be used as a spread for a sandwich. I don’t know why, because it was so darn good. The only thing that would have made it better would have been some cheddar cheese to finish the flavor sensation. I strongly encourage you to try this sandwich today. Or tomorrow. Or the day after that. But don’t wait any longer than that because by that time, the idea will have faded into the back of your mind and gotten lost among other concerns and you’ll never know the wonder of this amazing sandwich.

26 states, 183 people. They’re telling us it’s OK to eat most spinach again, just not the stuff from Salinas Valley in California.

Funny that such a widespread outbreak comes from spinach grown in three counties in California. The states hardest hit by the outbreak are Utah, Wisconsin, and Ohio—fairly far away from the source of the bacteria.

No need to repeat myself on my opinion of the implications of this thing, but I do recommend that you take a look at this map of where the illnesses have occurred and see for yourself how ridiculous it is that in a nation where there’s farmland from coast to coast, we’re shipping truckloads of spinach across the country.

I’m sure at this point, everyone is already well aware of the E. coli outbreak associated with bagged spinach. To recap, though, over 100 people in at least 19 states have been sickened; one person has died. As a result, the FDA has advised us not to eat spinach lest we become infected.

Nineteen states—almost half the nation. That’s the problem with our nationalized, mono-cropped system of producing food. Instead of thinking about food as nutrition, food as sustenance, food as a part of the natural environment; we tend to think of food as a commodity. Thus, massive quantities of a single crop are planted over vast swaths of land, prompted to grow in such an arrangement through the addition of synthetic sources of nutrients that have been stripped from the soil through misuse. Cows, pigs, and chickens are raised in factory-like environments, packed so closely together and/or fed such an unnatural diet that they must be fed a constant stream of antibiotics to maintain their health; plus, their growth is also fueled by the addition of synthetic growth hormones.

These situations aren’t natural. What’s called “conventionally grown” is a perversion of agriculture that has more to do with chemistry than “a rake and a hoe and a piece of fertile ground.” My friend Cortney was kind enough to lend me her copy of The Nation from a couple of weeks ago: an issue that was all about food and where it comes from. The date on the cover is September 11; it’s probably the only magazine dated as such that doesn’t deal with the prospect of large explosions caused by the actions of angry men who view our nation as the great satan. It’s probably also the only magazine dated as such that deals with the most likely threat to our nation’s security: our overtaxed and potentially increasingly unreliable food supply.

Dear Mr. Corduroy,

This is a strange question. I recently read somewhere that depending on the hand you use to eat with, food tastes differently. If you are right handed, and normally eat with your right hand, then by switching and using your left hand to eat with, it will open different taste pathways by using the other hemisphere of your brain. After testing this, I have come to the conclusion that it is a hoax. I was wondering what was the most ridiculous hoax you had heard of concerning food/eating.

Ambidextrous Andy

Dear Andy:

I’ve got to admit, I’ve never heard anything like that before. The concept seems somewhat preposterous, especially since hands are quite often used interchangeably when eating. Think about when you’re cutting a steak: you probably hold the fork in your left hand and the knife in your right hand. Once you’ve cut a chunk off, you may or may not lay the knife down, switch the hand you’re using for the fork, and then eat the piece of steak. Then again, you might not, especially if you’re European, where the general consensus on table manners is that there’s no sense in playing patty-cake with your fork, thus they maintain the fork in their left hand and the knife in their right, just as the utensils are laid out for them before the meal (they’re so pragmatic!).

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My job has me living on the road most of the year, and becasue of this I don’t always have the best eating habits. Do you have suggestions on better ways for me to follow the food pyramid while living out of a hotel room?

thanks!

hungry in ohio

HIO–

First things first, let’s forget about the food pyramid. That device was designed by a committee and it shows. Instead of concentrating on meeting the requirements poorly laid out in a jumbled chart, instead think about your diet with some common sense. Realize that your nutritional intake is tantamount to your life—-the only thing you’ve got going for you at any particular time is the sum total of what you’ve eaten lately. Because your diet is of consummate consequence, make the quality of your edibles to be of utmost importance.

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I can’t stand bad tomatoes. You know the ones I’m talking about: available year-round out of California, always the same quality no matter what the season. Available on salads everywhere, used simply to add color because the only favor they can contribute is somewhat rancid in nature. It’s no wonder some people don’t like tomatoes, if those are the only tomatoes they’ve been exposed to. The state of our agriculture would be improved tenfold if people didn’t have it in their fool heads that tomatoes are a right, not a privilege.

But enough of the rant, I’m no muckraker. The solution is obvious: plant a few fun varieties of tomatoes in your backyard and experience the harvest for yourself.
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