Corduroy Orange

What? you ask, How can there be anything pretentious about so simple a dish as a blueberry muffin? Easy– the name of this dish wrote itself as I started to explain how the recipe came about:

So, the other day I decided to make blueberry muffins to take to my lawn bowling league but it turned out that I was practically out of cow’s milk. I just happened to have some goat’s milk on hand, though, so I used some of it in place of the normal milk.

Now, come on, who just happens to have goat’s milk on hand? That’s so ridiculous of a statement as to be, well, pretentious. But the truth of it is when I was shopping at the food co-op, I got held up in the dairy section for an extended stay while my wife investigated odor removers to eliminate the dog smell from our new used couch. I started poking around my options and thought, well, I like goat cheese, but I wonder what the milk tastes like–so I snuck it into the cart when she wasn’t looking.

As it turns out, goat’s milk goes quite well with blueberries. It adds a certain, subtle tanginess to the muffin that otherwise wouldn’t be there. My tasters at the lawn bowling league all thought the muffins were fantastic. They kept asking, “What’s in here?”  They’d say, “These muffins are great, did you put applesauce in here?”  

I had forgotten about the whole milk debacle so I couldn’t even ‘fess up about the secret ingredient, but that’s OK because I’m coming clean right here on the web for all the world to see. And I know that chances are you probably won’t just have goat’s milk on hand that you can use to make these muffins for breakfast tomorrow, but trust me–if you’ve got a chance to get some goat’s milk, it’s worth it just to make these muffins. (more…)

I love fresh peaches. I cobble ‘em, I crisp ‘em, I pie ‘em, I eat ‘em up while I can. Now, I grill ‘em, too, and damn, they’re tasty! Even better, they can be a side dish to a pork chop just as easily as they can be a dessert. They’re easy, too– they prep in mere minutes, and cook at about the same rate as zucchini, give or take, depending on the coals.

The spices I coat them with are a general baking mix I use on most fruits. I adjust the proportions and sometimes add or drop an ingredient, depending on the specific task at hand, but I don’t bother mixing up a big of a batch of it. Instead, I just keep all the ingredients together, and shake them out each time. That way, I’m better able to adjust the ratios as need be.

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Why do the size of the kebobs in your first post make me question my masculinity?

Try writing Dan Savage for that one, he might take it on.

email me your culinary questions!

Q: How much does it cost to buy corn from a pirate?

A: A buck an ear!

Q: What rank is corn assigned when it enlists in the Army?

A: Colonel!

Q: What do old people and farmers have in common?

A: They’ve both got corns!

Thanks for this wonderful blog Jesse. I have a question for you, when cooking Chef Boyardee, is the stove top or the microwave more preferred? Also, should the canned parmesan cheese be added before or after cooking? I hope to resolve conflicts that root back from my childhood.

Thanks,
Chris in New Orleans
Dear Chris:

Quite frankly, canned pasta is crap. You’d be much better off cooking yourself dried pasta and heating some sauce out of a jar to go with it. Nutritionally, you’d be cutting a fair amount of unnecessary sodium from your meal; tastewise, you’d be entering the world of adulthood.

The best way to make your adult-style meal of pasta with marinara sauce is to put on a large pot of boiling water (1 gallon of water per pound of pasta being cooked; for a single serving, estimate about 1/4- 1/3 pound pasta). Meanwhile, slice up some onions and some garlic to jazz up your marinara.

Put a small saucepan on medium heat and let it get hot. Drizzle a little bit of oil on the bottom of the pan (enough to liberally cover the bottom). Add a few cranks worth of freshly cracked black pepper, then add your onion (about 1/2 small onion per serving, give or take). Stir the onion around the hot oil with a wooden spoon until it starts to soften up a bit, then add your garlic and a pinch or two of salt. When the garlic starts to brown, add your pasta sauce into the pan and stir it to incorporate the garlic and onion. As the sauce gets hotter, you might want to turn the heat down just a bit to avoid splatters.

When your sauce is pretty much hot and your water is boiling, add your dried pasta to the water. Check the package for cooking directions because different shapes of pasta have different cooking times, but in general you can expect it to take 5-10 minutes to be al dente.

When the pasta is cooked, drain it through a collander and return it to the pan it was cooked in. Add as much sauce as you think is enough and toss it around with the pasta. This would be the proper time to add the parmesan cheese, but don’t feel limited by the stuff in the green can. Especially if you’re trying to impress a date, go for the wedge of aged parmesan and grate it by hand into the pasta. It’s a classy touch.

Hi Jesse,

Thanks for the link to your new blog. Will you have a knife skills class? I’d pay you to show me what I should be doing with my knives. (I would also bring my own knives.) I bet you could solicit a handful of people.

Janice

Dear Janice:

That’s not a bad idea. If other people are also interested, I’d be glad to. Anyone participating could expect inexpensive, hands-on training; personalized assistance with their knife skills; and a class that would culminate in the preparation and eating of a tasty meal. So what say you, Pittsburgh? Anyone interested, please post a comment!

When you’re using black or white pepper to flavor what you sauté, add it to the hot oil before you start adding the food. The oils from the pepper will dissolve into the sauté oil, infusing it with the spicy flavor. As a result, the same quantity of pepper packs more of a punch than if you add it later in the cooking process.

Be careful, though–this rule doesn’t apply to crushed red pepper flakes. Unless you’re planning on an extremely short cooking time, it’s best to add them later in the process, though before you deglaze the pan. If you add them first, they’re likely to scorch, thereby infusing your dish with a bitter, burnt flavor on top of the spiciness.

Because, let’s face it, you don’t have to.

There are lots of food blogs out there where you can get Recipes, Cooking Tips, descriptions of Farm Visits, Restaurant Reviews, and notes from the author’s Tastings, such as I’ll have here.

But from Corduroy Orange, you can also expect:

An Advice Column based on your letters. Have a question from the world of food? Want to know about the history of a certain dish, how to use an unfamiliar ingredient, or where your attempt at making something went wrong? Email me. If it’s an intelligent and/or interesting question, there’s a good chance I will post a carefully researched response to your query.

The best way to improve your results in your kitchen is to learn How to use your Knife Like a Pro. Good knife skills don’t just make your food look prettier. They also ensure that all of your vegetables cook at the same rate, thereby making your food taste better; increase your efficiency in the kitchen, thereby making your meals take less time to prepare; and increase your safety, thereby greatly reducing the chances you donate some of your blood to your food.

From time to time I come across a piece of an old text (often obscure) that relates somehow to the culinary realm. I’ll post these Unearthed Texts along with an brief essay explaining the text itself, if necessary, but more importantly explaining why I think the text is worth notice.

Bellevue Tandisque is the continuing story of the goings on in the back of a posh restaurant. Coming soon, meet the whole cast of characters, including the grill cook who rushes steaks along by dropping them in the deep fryer, the chef with the 80 MPH fastball potato, the bar manager who’s a whiz with the funnel, and more!
I’m a wellspring of Corn-y Jokes. Some of them might be worth a chuckle, but more likely they’re good for a groan. They’re especially useful if you need to entertain a grade-schooler for a short period of time.

Plus, you can expect to see an occasional Rant when something relevant gets my blood flowing.

So, read my blog! It’ll be worth your time.